“When talking with my friend Linda the other day, she commented that she feels more alone when she and I talk over Zoom than she does when we just speak on the phone. “Somehow, talking on the phone just seems more normal…”, she said.
My friend Linda has never married. She hadn’t planned to be alone at age 75, but here she is. These past 10 months alone in her condo have really shown Linda that she is on her own. Linda is part of the more than 20% of older adults in the U.S. who do not have a family caregiver available in case they become ill or incapacitated.
The changes Linda has had to make because of the pandemic will help her as she grows older. She now has her medications and groceries delivered. She’s set up automatic online bill payments for all her regular bills so she can skip the trip to the post office. With no other distractions, she has started to declutter her apartment; getting rid of clothes she doesn’t wear anymore, giving away books she’s already read, and in many ways simplifying her life.
Before the pandemic, Linda went to the gym most days, was part of a book group and had weekly Friday morning coffees with a past colleague. She feels she has had a preview of what her life might be like if she were to become sick or incapacitated and unable to leave her house.
Things she has not figured out yet:
- Who should be her emergency contact?
- Who will be her health care proxy? Durable Power of Attorney?
- Who would care for her if she needed help?
- How can she build her social network, so she does not feel so isolated?
But, Linda is not alone. The experienced care managers at Allies in Aging JFS Elder Care Solutions can help her plan for her future. A year ago, staying at home for 10 months would have been unimaginable. Now Linda thinks about her future and wants to be ready for anything. I am confident she will!
Ask Ally is written by Malka Young, LICSW, Director of Allies in Aging JFS Elder Care Solutions